Dihydrogen-monoxide

A very dangerous Greenhouse gas

The government is totally ignoring the emissions of other greenhouse gases while corralling the media to concentrate on CO2. A prime example is dihydrogen-monoxide which is unanimously recognized by meteorologists as the most prevalent and important of all greenhouse gases (it is also a major component in acid rain).  It has an estimated LD50 of 25,000mg/kg.

Not only is the federal government ignoring the many plants that produce dihydrogen-monoxide, our federal government actively subsidizes it's production and distribution. Massive amounts are emitted as a greenhouse gas by agriculture and industrial cleaning operations directly to the atmosphere without any regulation what so ever. This obvious corporate sweetheart deal to ignore these emissions, is nothing short of a conspiracy. 

While an outright ban on dihydrogen-monoxide may not be politically feasible at this time, we can hope for it as a long term goal. In the mean time, there is no reason that we shouldn't be having UN talks to limit its use. The usual exaggerated claims as to what such a ban (or reduction) might do to our economy should be balanced with the knowledge that we don't know what will happen if we don't act now. Therefore, we should act now to keep ourselves free of this chemical and dominant source of greenhouse gas just to be on the safe side. 

The Greenhouse effect of dihydrogen-monoxide is magnitudes greater than that of CO2 (ask any Meteorologist). Areas down wind of high emissions of dihydrogen-monoxide have seen weather changes. In fact, orange growers purposely apply dihydrogen-monoxide to prevent freezing of their crops but miraculously are spared any criticism by the media about global warming . 

Perhaps someone could prepare a list of items that we can buy conscious free knowing that they don't contain or use any dihydrogen-monoxide in the item's manufacture. I can imagine a logo that could be attached to products letting us know that they are dihydrogen-monoxide free. Anyone who is sincere about saving the planet from global warming, should stop consumption of all products that use dihydrogen-monoxide. 

I received some disturbing E-mail about this page from someone who claims that the global warming via greenhouse gasses is 'just a hypotheses' and therefore we shouldn't do anything. I just don't understand how people can let greenhouse gases, especially dihydrogen-monoxide, off the hook so easily. It is obvious that we should act on all hypotheses until proved beyond all doubt to be false. In the case of dihydrogen-monoxide there is ample proof that it is the most important of all greenhouse gasses (it makes the others look negligible). As of today, I have heard that dihydrogen-monoxide was not even mentioned as a possible controlled chemical in the talks in Kyoto. Cost/benefit studies measured in lives or dollars would only delay the important work of saving the earth from the ravages of dihydrogen-monoxide. Can anyone think of a hypothesis we shouldn't act on until proved false? After all, if we ruin the earth there isn't anywhere to go!

Dumping this chemical into the environment should stop now. Once a ban is in place, our government or the UN could decide who would get the right to limited emissions. Otherwise, you could just imagine how greedy people will decide they 'needed' to emit dihydrogen-monoxide from their own selfish ends. 

Feedback from readers

Documentation of military involvement from an anonymous source now in Arizona

By moving from Texas to Arizona we have minimized our personal exposure to this insidious chemical. But, eliminating this chemical would be extremely difficult; the US government even has pipelines transporting it to military bases - hidden deep underground, away from public scrutiny.

Another Reader D. H. from Portland, OR Writes:

I have heard un-confirmed stories that indicate that Nazi Germany used dihydrogen monoxide in their failed attempt to build atomic weapons. [editors note: This has been confirmed]

And now a reader John of Florida

I was quite alarmed by your trenchant essay regarding the insidious substance: dihydrogen monoxide. I asked my physician to perform testing to determine if I might be showing signs of exposure to this chemical. Indeed, the results indicated high concentrations in nearly every cell of my body! I am attempting to reduce the concentration of this pollutant in my system via vigorous consumption of its natural nemesis, anhydrous ethanol. I fully expect this therapy to alleviate my concerns.

>There are records of the Chinese using dihydrogen monoxide as an instrument of torture. The mind altering effects of dihydrogen-monoxide have been known in China for centuries.  It is used in a well known 'brain washing' technique to break the spirit of various detainees.

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